PAINTINGS

The process of creating this piece was raw, personal, and sparked from the intense feeling of draining energies lurking over my growth and subconscious. 

 

Pouring out everything into the pages of my journals and sketchbooks brought me to this confrontation. 

 

The feeling of tension when you decide to heal the deep wounds that go back generations or have been inflicted by past loved ones. 

 

When in your physical and mental reality you have changed, became rooted in authenticity, and you step back and realize where you’ve came from, and that that authenticity is a threat to some who never wanted or were never capable of seeing you in that. Who refuse to confront themselves, let alone somebody else’s truth. 

 

That despite this growth, there is a spiritual and emotional pull to look back and sympathize with the inflicters of the pain that brought me to this confrontation in the first place. A pull to sit, be quiet, and repeat cycles that don’t belong to me. 

 

This worry that no matter how hard I try to uncover the truth and bring light to dark areas, internally and externally, that the lies and inauthentic versions of myself, my life, and my loved ones will lurk over me. 

 

These thoughts and energies may run circles in my mind, but I have come to the realization and appreciation, that they are just thoughts. That they are not indicative of my future, and are clearly separate from my being and nature if I feel this tension so heavily. 

 

Through creating this piece I found power in the stillness in the recognization. 

 

I felt it simpler to release pressure I placed on myself to find and Interrogate every lurking energy, and encouraged myself to see how far I’ve come,how being aware of harmful patterns in myself and others, and opening up those wounds with the intent to nurture is courageous in itself. 

 

I find healing in being. 

I find healing in creativity and even more so when it is raw and not glossed over.